Skilllz of a Teenage Goddess: Chocolate Chip Cookies

this batter is really good

So everyone needs to know how to make some badass chocolate chip cookies. This is a fact of life. I have screwed with quite a few recipes in my time, and, in my opinion, a perfect formula. This is all VERY scientific and you cannot mess up ever or you will FAIL. But seriously, screw around with this recipe and mess it up as much as you want because I do not live with you. This recipe is adapted from Better Homes and Gardens.

The Recipe
(this is probably the most important part)

-1/2 cup vegetable oil (I use peanut oil, but use whatever you want to)
-1/2 cup butter (it's fattening, get over it)
- 1 cup granulated sugar
-1/2 teaspoon baking soda
-2 eggs
-1 teaspoon vanilla extract (don't use the fake shit)
-2 to 2 and 1/2 cups flour
-1 cup chocolate chips
-1 cup rolled oatmeal



Instructions

 In a large mixing bowl beat oil and butter until it is combined-ish. It should look similar to this -

Add the sugar to the fattening mixture. Mix for 1-2 minutes or until combined. You CAN taste the dough if you like.  At this point, your eyes should look upon a mixture similar to the one below -

 Once your dough looks like the above, add the baking soda and eggs. If you would like to try your concoction now, it is at your own risk. Raw eggs can cause salmonella and other food borne diseases and you are putting yourself at potential risk if you eat it, but I have never experienced any health related consequences when I have eaten cookie dough. Beat your mixture until it looks like so -

Now, you shall add vanilla. After the vanilla is thoroughly mixed in, add the flour. I add the flour gradually, about 1 cup at a time. I use between 2 cups and 2 and a half cups of flour per batch. The amount of flour you use should be relevant to how dry/wet your dough is. When all the flour hath been mixed in, your deliciousness should look like this -

 Now the fun part. Adding the chocolate chips. Though the original recipe called for 2 cups of chocolate chips, I cut down to 1 cup because of daily sugar nutritional values and not wanting to use an entire bag. DO NOT mix the chocolate chips in with an electric mixer! It WILL mess up your bowl/mixer. Instead, use a metal mixing spoon or a wooden spoon to fold them in. The process is shown below - 

 Now, because I like oatmeal in cookie dough, and because I think 'oatmeal chocolate chip cookies' sound healthier than just 'chocolate chip cookies', I mix oatmeal into my cookie dough. Add the oatmeal, and fold the oatmeal in the same way you folded the chocolate chips in. Now, I will include some pictures of myself mixing in oatmeal because I like my photos -

 YOU HAVE FINISHED THE DOUGH MIXING PART!!! Congratulations! You can now eat the dough (at yo own risk, homie), or you can be responsible and actually bake the cookies. You decide. Last night, I decided to be a responsible teen and bake the cookies. My brother did eat some dough. These are drop cookies. I use a tablespoon scoop to make my cookies uniform. I used a total of two cookie sheets, placing each cookie dough ball 1 inch from the others. 

  After placing the cookies on the sheet, place them into a preheated oven, one you have preheated to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake for 3-12 minutes or until golden. Now share with your friends or hog them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hoarding! I was able to make 32 tablespoon scooped cookies. My brother did eat some dough, so you may make a few more. Now you should make these and enjoy them.

 -Emma (aka The Coolest Person You Will Ever Meet)